Blondes Have More Guns

The Concord Police Department investigates, with officers Dick Smoker and Harry Bates, the latter who find a clue through a wedding invitation. The blonde getting married is Montana Beaver, though via her marriage to [] architect Lyle Shotz, becomes Montana Beaver-Shotz. The exchange over this bit of info goes like this:

Smoker: It was a lovely ceremony Mrs. Beaver-Shotz.

Montana: Montana, please.

Smoker: It was a lovely Montana, Mrs. Beaver-Shotz.

Montana: The hyphen is silent.

Bates: You shouldn't try to hide it. You should be very proud to still have it on your wedding day.

Hyphen, hymen, get it? This is typical of the dialogue throughout the movie, snappy, play-on-words, but delivered deadpan a la The Naked Gun. Much of the film's strengths rest on that delivery, as well as sight gags.

Bates is very much lacking in the brain department. His former partner Henry took the death of his dog hard and is dressed up in a dog costume, but Harry takes it all in stride. "He was a good cop. Now he's a good pet."

To complicate matters, there's Dakota, Montana's "twin half-sister, once removed", who falls for Harry. She looks really nice when she has her hair like Bonnie Tyler in one scene. Meanwhile, there are a few more killings.

This is mostly a parody of Basic Instinct, down to the "no smoking in the interrogation scene", but there are pokes at
Indecent Proposal, Silence Of The Lambs (the autopsy scene involving the cadavre "Wait! There's something in his mouth!"), The Three Faces Of Eve, and The Crying Game, as well as plays on verbal references to Rear Window, Dirty Harry and 9-1/2 Weeks. Some of them are caught easily, such as the list of doctors paged over the hospital intercom--"Dr. Quinn, your show has been cancelled." Others are subtle, such as the opening scene at a restaurant, I heard a black man saying off-screen, "Nicole, tell the waiter to get me one of them big a-- steak knives." I about bust a gut laughing.

The sex scene between Harry and Dakota involving pizza is sheer hilarity, with cartoon and animal sound effects, and Dakota has a really nice pair to boot.

Michael McGaharn is simply funny as Harry Bates, aided by the two luscious blondes, Elizabeth Key (Montana) and Gloria Lusak (Dakota). A very silly movie lacking PC-ness of any kind. It'll leave you with anything but a "7-11 state of mind." Whoever thought Troma could make something so funny?


Blondes and Troma have such fun   March 13, 2003
Daniel J. Hamlow (Utsunomiya City, Japan)
2 out of 4 found this review helpful

A beautiful blonde, whose face we don't see, is sitting atop a man, his hands tied to the bed. Sound familiar? Well, instead of an ice pick, she uses a chainsaw, and guess what? From the moment the message "This motion picture has been altered from its original format. It has been dubbed in Swahili", appears on screen, we know how serious this movie is.

The Concord Police Department investigates, with officers Dick Smoker and Harry Bates, the latter who find a clue through a wedding invitation. The blonde getting married is Montana Beaver, though via her marriage to loser architect Lyle Shotz, becomes Montana Beaver-Shotz. The exchange over this bit of info goes like this:

Smoker: It was a lovely ceremony Mrs. Beaver-Shotz.

Montana: Montana, please.

Smoker: It was a lovely Montana, Mrs. Beaver-Shotz.

Montana: The hyphen is silent.

Bates: You shouldn't try to hide it. You should be very proud to still have it on your wedding day.

Hyphen, hymen, get it? This is typical of the dialogue throughout the movie, snappy, play-on-words, but delivered deadpan a la The Naked Gun. Much of the film's strengths rest on that delivery, as well as sight gags.

Bates is very much lacking in the brain department. His former partner Henry took the death of his dog hard and is dressed up in a dog costume, but Harry takes it all in stride. "He was a good cop. Now he's a good pet."

To complicate matters, there's Dakota, Montana's "twin half-sister, once removed", who falls for Harry. She looks really nice when she has her hair like Bonnie Tyler in one scene. Meanwhile, there are a few more killings.

This is mostly a parody of Basic Instinct, down to the "no smoking in the interrogation room scene", but there are pokes at
Indecent Proposal, Silence Of The Lambs (the autopsy scene involving the cadavre "Wait! There's something in his mouth!"), The Three Faces Of Eve, and The Crying Game, as well as plays on verbal references to Rear Window, Dirty Harry and 9-1/2 Weeks. Some of them are caught easily, such as the list of doctors paged over the hospital intercom--"Dr. Quinn, your show has been cancelled." Others are subtle, such as the opening scene at a restaurant, I heard a black man saying off-screen, "Nicole, tell the waiter to get me one of them big a-- steak knives." I about bust a gut laughing.

The sex scene between Harry and Dakota involving pizza is sheer hilarity, with cartoon and animal sound effects, and Dakota has a really nice pair to boot.

... In one scene, Harry, when discussing having rugrats (guess which movie?) says he wants three kids: "If one turns out gay, you can disown him and you won't be left with an only child."

Michael McGaharn is simply funny as Harry Bates, aided by the two luscious blondes, Elizabeth Key (Montana) and Gloria Lusak (Dakota). A very silly movie lacking PC-ness of any kind. It'll leave you with anything but a "7-11 state of mind." Whoever thought Troma could make something so funny?


A Weird Al Yankovic style parody   June 28, 2001
Charles Kangas (Tromaville)
0 out of 2 found this review helpful

Greetings from Tromaville!

A parody of cop films involves a cop who tries to solve a murder with his traumatized friend who is a policeman that think's he's a dog ("It's a shame, he was a good cop." "Yea, but he's a great dog!"), a woman who has an identical twin step-sister, and many other zany charectors!

If you are a fan of "The Naked Gun", "Hot Shots", or "UHF", you should definetly check out "Blonds Have More Guns"


I laughed nonstop   September 10, 1999
2 out of 3 found this review helpful

This is one of the funniest films I have seen in a long time. I literally laughed nonstop until the credits, and even they were funny. This reminds me of the Groove Tube or Kentucky Fried Movie. I can't wait to see what this Merriweather guy does next.


Wild and wacky   September 3, 1999
2 out of 2 found this review helpful

Wild and wacky sendup of such thrillers as Basic Instinct and Seven. Comedian Michael McGaharn is right on the money as Detective Harry Bates, quick with the one-liners and hot on the trail of a serial killer. In true B-movie fashion, Harry falls for the prime suspect, a mysterious woman named Montana, (Elizabeth Key, blonde and then some). The best part is that none of this is taken with a grain of salt. George Merriweather is the genius behind this project.